Jess Vierling：一名自律纪律军人的德州扑克守护者

Jess Vierling deserves a round of applause. She pulled off something most poker players would be thrilled about: she turned a $500 satellite into a $5,000 buy-in for PokerGO’s opening event of the 2024 Poker Masters, successfully fought against a higher level of competition, and ultimately finished as the runner-up – earning $98,000, which marks the third-highest payday of her career.

Nevertheless, as the saying goes in the poker world, there’s only one person who’s happy at the end of a tournament. And that person was not Jess Vierling.

“So everyone is congratulating me for second place (so I guess I should feel amazing), but I feel like crap. I reviewed all my hands and misplayed two in HU that cost me so terribly, I might have won if not. Who is wrong, everyone or me, and why are we so messed up? 🤣😩— Jess Vierling 🃏🃏🃏🃏 (@LilithPoker) September 12, 2024”

“When that tournament was over…the last experience, the last feeling that I had was disappointment. Especially because I had such a big chip lead to start the heads-up with. It was bittersweet…,” she confided. Even the recognition of competing against poker pros whom she admires did little to lift her spirits. “I was like, I think it’ll take a few days for me to be happy about this.”

She’s unsure if happiness has truly set in even now. Part of the reason is the incredibly high expectations she sets for herself in the realm of poker. Every time she plays, she demands herself to “perform at my best, whatever my best is at the moment, 100% of the time.”

The German-born, Las Vegas-based poker pro indeed appears to be living up to her own high standards. The proof: Vierling is in the midst of a career year, highlighted by her victory in the WSOP Circuit Commerce Casino Main Event, where she pocketed a career-high $328,000. With a final table finish in a $2,200 side event at the Seminole Hard Rock Poker Open and her recent PokerGO score, her lifetime tournament earnings have soared past $1.2 million.

However, despite her numerous cashes in 2024, Jess recognizes that her inner self-critic can be relentless.

“What I can’t get over is if I mess up. People say you should try to be in control of the things you can and allow the rest to just happen. But am I not in control of my mind? Should I not always be 100% in control of my mind? My mind should be at its absolute A+, 100% game all the time. And if it’s not because I slip up, I’m tired, I’m tilted, I’m inattentive for a moment – then that is something I can self-loathe for.”

For Jess, this is a deeply considered topic. It has been a journey. Acknowledging her own “self-loathing” is just one facet of her intense competitive spirit. She openly talks about the various aspects of herself that she is trying to address through her poker journey. In a world where emotional detachment from results or money can act as a protective shield against the turbulent ups and downs of tournament poker, Vierling is moving in the opposite direction – opening herself up, her feelings, and her world, to those who support her.

“Yes, I’ve heard I’m hard on myself. Objectively speaking, I probably am. But there’s a part of me that’s like…let people think you’re hard on yourself.”

Vierling sees pushing herself in poker as a “badge of honor” and admits that no one will ever be harder on her than she is herself. She also acknowledges that it’s not always healthy to hold herself to impossibly high standards and is figuring that out. However, it’s also her assurance that as long as she’s in the game of poker, she’s going to strive to achieve.

“That’s one part. And the other part is, well, I’m getting all this love. I’m getting the love that my inner child is craving, the respect it wants by being good at what I’m doing… So we just have to keep getting better. We have to always be great because we always want to be loved.”

Perhaps it’s because she has fallen for the game of poker that she wants to be loved. It has been four years since she moved from Seattle to Las Vegas to chase her poker dream, four years of education, grinding, and advancing in the poker world.

“‘I’m doing this because I love the game. I think it’s the most beautiful thing ever. It’s a representation of light. All my issues, everybody’s mental issues, challenges, strengths, they all come out in the game. It’s a beautiful universe in itself. I have always loved cards and now I really, really love poker because you are never done studying. It’s infinite what you can know. It’s mystical. It increases spiritual awareness, it increases psychological awareness and it brings together people of all kinds.”

To Jess, poker means more than just a means of profit, it’s far beyond money in her mind. “I really don’t think about money at all,” she reveals.

“I want to belong to the community. That’s my number one goal. I have a craving for my tribe and it would be amazing if it was the high-stakes community…or any ranked community. But, yeah, I just want to play my best game and I want to be successful and I want to be loved and respected for my game.”

So far, Jess Vierling has succeeded by being an open book. She can’t and won’t hide the fact that she’s striving for greatness. “I’ve always been a person that believes in authenticity. I think everybody is afraid of judgment. I’m afraid of judgment too. But my judgment is centered around performance and skill and knowledge and intelligence. When it comes to other stuff, like being emotional or having human drawbacks, I think that authenticity is great because I can be lazy.”

She plays poker the same way she lives her life: not aiming to conceal who she is or what she feels, at the poker table or in daily life. She has evidently dedicated a lot of time to perfecting her game and herself, and now she’s reaping the benefits of both.

“I do not believe in lying or hiding or creating a different image of yourself because I believe that everybody has their tribe, everybody finds their people, but if you are not yourself, then the people that belong to you or belong with you or you belong with can’t find you,” she said. “And the people that do like you, they might not be false or pretentious or whatever, but those are not your people. Those people like you for the wrong reason, which is not good for you and not good for them.

“So being real is the way you find your path. I have haters. Oh yeah, for sure. But those people weren’t meant for me anyway, and I was not meant for them. So I think that by being real, it’s an easier way of living.”